Saturday, January 2, 2010

News and notes for 2010

Alrighty then!!!

:I came up with some new ideas for the year 2010. For instance, I decided to return to school.
My wife knows I am an information junky. It would be a natural thing to do.
"Where do you plan on enrolling? the technical school? the college extension down the road? Drive the 50 miles to UNC Wilmington? Where?" She queried.
"Oh No, Nothing like that. I plan to enroll in 5th grade at the Cornelia Crowley Middle School."
Long silence........"What?.....Are you crazy?"
No, No!!! It totally makes sense. I watched Jeff Foxworthy's "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" and I wasn't. I have some major gaps in my knowledge base. I expect to graduate from high school (again) before I am 75 years old if I don't flunk any grades.

A Modest Proposal: Amendment 28 to the constitution. " We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal." right!!!! What does that mean? It means from the time you are conceived until the time you are born you have equal rights. We know this isn't true. (abortion) So it must mean after you are born.
OOPS!!!! not so!
  • Note: The U.S. House of Rep. & the Senate each voted themselves a $4,700 and $5,300 raise this year.
  • They voted to not give me a social security Cost of living raise for the next 2 years.
  • Your Medicare premium will go up $285.60.
  • Congress thinks America has the best health care plan in the world. No! Congress has the best health plan in the world. If you want the best health plan in the world get elected to congress otherwise you will have to settle for the 37th best health plan in the world. We only trail the Dominican Republic by two but I am proud to say we are two ahead of Cuba. (yippee!!!!) This gives me great comfort.
  • How is this for an idea? Someone suggested a 28th amendment. Congress should have same health plan as everyone else in this country. They should have to pay all the deductibles and co-pays that I do. If I don't get a cost of living raise, they don't get a cost of living raise. They should not be entitled to more than the average citizen when it comes to health care. I think this is a great idea.
  • My Heros (not): Octomom and Jon Gosselin. I think someone should introduce them, they could marry and adopt balloon boy.
  • Tiger Woods: He couldn't keep it in his pants. It only cost him his marriage, millions in endorsements, and Billions in lost money by the companies that sponsored him.
  • Governor Mark Sanford: who got on the Appalachian trail and hiked all the way to Argentina to see his "Soulmate".
  • Congress: They have not changed any laws that would prevent another financial fiasco on Wall Street. Wow! That makes me nervous.
  • Republicans: alright!!! so Obama is not setting the world on fire. I think you guys are more focused on disrupting any progress that he is attempting to make. you seem more interested in whether he was born in the US (birthers) or watering down the health care plan so much that anybody who is sick will be executed. It is too expensive, we are told. The Democrats have been trying to get s health care system in place since the 1950's. The Republicans have blocked it since the 50's. Now it is toooooooooo expensive, they tell us. Now they may be right after blocking it for 60 years.
  • ABC New Years coverage: It was painful to watch Dick Clark on New Year's Eve. It's time to pack it in, Dick. Enjoy New Years Eve at home with your wife. let me see, was Jennifer Lopez "bare-assed? No? whew!!! Ok!....alrighty then!!! Fergie didn't wet her pants tonight. cool!!!
  • Justice in America: Only if you can afford it. When you run out of money you run out of justice.
  • Joe Wilson: You make me ashamed to say I live in SC. ("liar")
  • George W. Bush: "mission accomplished!!!" He's gone.....alrighty then!!


  1. Oh My, Don't know if it would do any good for me to repeat 5th grade


  2. mingle:
    I like school. I do not to hang out with little Jeffery or little Megan and Ashley. I hang out with the teacher, Miss Crumpet. She may be too young also. Wow! When I was going to school. out teachers had names like:
    "Old lady Grumley". (who was probably 24 when I was in fifth grade) and "Pegleg" Pinkerson, who was 22 when I was in fourth grade. (She broke her leg trying out for the US National Ski team.)
    I think I will go back. I can't wait for High School. Hopefully I won't be too senile by then. (mingle....)

  3. Give yourself come credit - you would ace 5th grade. It's high school I'd worry about repeating...

  4. high school will be a problem. The teacher said pie are square and I told her that is bad grammar and pie are round.