Sunday, July 2, 2017

Meanwhile at the Whitehouse

New York post Page 6
FORMER PRESIDENTS DINE TOGETHER
Michelle and ex president Barack Obama dined at the Four Seasons Restaurant in NYC yesterday evening with former president Jimmy Carter. 
The Obamas had a roast beef dinner with baked potatoes and string beans, Jimmy had  chop beef cooked in peanut butter sauce.
The group then….


The orange haired manbaby throws down his newspaper in a rage.
"WTF, Kellyanne, Sarah, do something about this. Hand me my phone.”

TWEET: Four season food bad, very bad .  The Kenyan got food poisoning. Very bad food. Run, spot, run. U 2 Kenyan. (SEND)
"Whew, I feel better now.” 

Oh, oh...I better do it again.
TWEET food bad @4seasons, owner deserves facepunch. Lol!
I will pay lawyers...(SEND)

"Oh wow! Again!"
TWEET: Jimmy the peanut boy got very sick. Tainted beef! Executive order time.(SEND)

"Kellyanne, no beef to NYC, tainted. Very, very bad. Real bad. Bad. Effective immediately. EXECUTIVE ORDER!

"Sarah? What?"
"They did not report anyone sick at the Four Seasona last night or ever, your highness."

"What...ever!"
"And what exactly is your point Sarah? And Sarah, lose some weight. You look like a balloon in the Macy's thanksgiving day parade; now help me out of bed.  It is almost 6am.  And tell Kellyanne to put on a few pounds she looks like a starved corpse."
"Where's Melissa?"
"Do you mean Melonous, I mean, Melania or whatever her name is?"
"Yeah, that's the one. Where is she?" 
"You sent her to Europe to visit an uncle Vlad...?"
"Vlad?...oh...yeah, I did. He's a real bully.  He is such a liar. Very big liar. Maybe she can get him to stop. She knows about abuse for sure. That's right in her wheelchair."
"Don't you mean wheelhouse, your highness?"
“Yeah...what...ever!" I don’t want to talk about that Kenyan Muslim any more either.”
Mumblings. “I know about the fake birth certificate.”

"Hmmm, I think I will name my uncle Marty the secretary of the Navy. I think he owned a kayak once. Ummm...what day did you say Madonna would be home and is Burford with her?"
"Do you mean Melania and Baron?"
"Barren? I am as fertile as I ever was. I produced Woody or Burford didn't I? So which one did she take to India? Woody or Burford?"
"Baron, sir."
"And she left the other two at home? THE BITCH!  When she gets home I will punch her in the face ten times just like I did to Anderson Cooper."
"Sir, you didn't punch Anderson Cooper in the face and you only have one son living at home or some place nearby."
"Oh... what happened to poor little Burford and Woody?"
Sarah fidgets and then smiles.
"They are at Military prep school, sir.  Just like the one you attended.
They are doing very well."
"Ah...yes. Wish them a Merry Christmas. I rarely see them. Very nice kids. Very nice.  I know it's only June but, you know, golf, twittering, saving the world.  Not much time."

"Now if you will excuse me I have to go wrap Christmas presents or something. Somebody should be fired today.Who's left at the FBI?"