Where did the years go? I just filled out something on the internet where you have to put in your age. The day and the month were easy. It took me twenty minutes to scroll down to the year. The strange thing is; I feel pretty darn good. I mean if I don't make any quick movement and don't venture to far away from a toilet, I'm fine. In fact, I have my body functions so well in sync, I can make it to a toilet with milliseconds to spare.
My Birthday. A good birthday. one could say a great birthday. It was perfect. an eventful day. well, it was almost perfect. The helicopter ride was great. The Aquarium was great. the companionship was wonderful. Things started to come unravelled at the restaurant. we had three ladies sitting at the next table. They seemed to be very talkative and really seemed to be enjoying themselves. laughing and carrying on. my wife told them it was my birthday. one of the ladies ask how old I was. I told them. They said Happy Birthday....That’s it!...They didn’t say “no,no impossible, you are much younger.” or, “oh stop it, If you are going to lie about your age, make it believable.” nothing like that, nothing...I cried myself to sleep that night.
Stuff like that gets me a little edgy. There are other things that are more alarming. I fell asleep in the chair last week. I woke up and my wife had a mirror under my nose. I asked her what she was doing. "I was checking to see if you were breathing." I was. a similar thing happen yesterday at the beach. I have the capability of holding my breath for a long time. I have often stayed under water for a while. The other day my wife yanked me by the hair and pulled my head up. She asked, "Are you OK?" I was.
The last incident was the most terrifying. I couldn't sleep so I went downstairs and slept on the couch. I got up in the middle of the night and went to the half bathroom. I did what I had to do, got up to flush, I checked to make sure everything came out ok. A person does that when they get older. Everything was not all right. Part of My intestines had come out and were in the toilet. I was overcome by panic. I stuffed my intestines back in me the best I could. Prolapse intestine. that's what it was. I hollered to my wife. Woke her and told her to call 911. She wanted to know what happen. I told her.
"You fool.!!! You just stuffed chicken gizzards up your butt. I forgot to flush them after I cleaned the chicken."
It took me two days, a mirror, a pair of plier, and ex-lax to get straightened out. "am I ok?" I am!