Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Yes,  I am squirrelly.  My wife says so.  I suppose this is meant to be a derogatory term.
 After observing squirrels for many years, I personally do not take offense to it.  In fact, these critters have many of the qualifications I would be looking for if I worked in Human Resources.   The squirrel is persistent.  The squirrel is creative. The squirrel will work for peanuts.  The recent high school or college graduate will ask:  How many weeks vacation?  How good is your health plan? How many coffee breaks do I get per day? Squirrels don't ask these questions.  
I have been putting a lot of thought into this.  If I could get these little rodents to work on an assembly line in Detroit, General Motors would be a profitable company. Some of the more creative squirrels could become engineers.  You know the type. They are the ones out in the backyard climbing all over the squirrel proof bird feeder.  The nerdy type rodentia.  I suppose PETA would be after me in minutes.  I don't care.  I will be saving General Motors.  I am not asking them to go to Iraq and strap little bombs to their furry little bodies.
Since I speaking of things on squirrel bodies, I must mention this. 
I am battling a couple of squirrels in my back yard. One of the squirrels is wearing a belt. I told my wife, "There is a squirrel in the backyard wearing a belt."  She told me to get in the house and put one on before my pants fall down. She thought he was wearing my belt.  but after she saw the squirrel she agreed that he did have something around his waist and back. It is more like a small red object held with some kind of wire. We figured some human did something to the poor little creature.  But he seems to be doing fine with whatever is attached to him.  I am sure he was not born like that.  He seems quiet healthy otherwise.  I have sprayed him numerous times with water and he keeps coming back.
He seems to enjoy the spray.  I have a neighbor who catches squirrels in a cage and drives them to another state and releases them.  They usually beat him back home.
These are the kind of creatures General Motors should consider hiring.

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