Friday, October 23, 2009

My Nobel prize is in the mail.

The Coltmobile

My world has been turned upside down. Things are getting a little weird in the world.
The Nobel peace prize for Barack Obama? Hmmmm.

Did I miss something in the news about Iraq and Afghanistan? Must be.

This means I will be hearing from the Nobel committee in the Literature category. It could happen. I haven't had anything published but Barack has not made any peace so I guess my chances of hearing from the Nobel committee are quite good.
I suspect the Nobel committee will refer to my unpublished "Colt Brandisher" series.
Actually my unwritten and unpublished series. Untitled, I might add.
Perhaps I can tie up some loose ends today.
Did I mention anything about Candida Goldblatt? Well....She's good lookin!!!

The Title Thingee
Perhaps I could do something like the author Sue Grafton. A is for....whatever. B is forsomething. No? X is for what, Sue?
How about something like Lillian Jackson Braun series, The Cat who .....whatever! buried his feces, meowed all night, Farted...take your pick. No? (My cat does all these things.)
How about a series along the lines of John Sandford. His prey series. How aboutChurch Prey or Bird of Prey. No?
Wow, This is difficult. Martha Truman wrote about Murder at series...Murder at the White House. Murder at the FBI. I could go with Murder at the Outhouse, etc..No?
What if I used every state in the union. I would like to get sex in the title. How aboutPray for Sex in Alabama. I think I am getting close but the title sounds too "Baptist".
I think I am getting close.

Character description

Sometimes you can tell more about a character by the car he/she drives or some other gimmick. Do you remember Columbo? He had a nifty vehicle and a raincoat. A characters personal quirks. What do they drive? what do they drink? Eat? Those personal little touches that make him unique.
Perhaps I could have Colt drive a 1957 Citroen that is pulling a pop-up trailer. His Ex-wife got everything. Too quirky? perhaps I could have him dress strange. Maybe wear his boxer shorts on the outside. Nah! Why would he do that? Remember, If that trend starts, you heard it here first.

No, He is going to look like me/Clint Eastwood. That will make him quirky enough.
He will drive a 1957 Citroen. That is good. Perhaps I can give him a strange hobby for a guy. Maybe he could be a knitter. You know.....knit one, pearl two...whatever...No? How about Pinochle master? ...No, better yet. a scrabble master. He will go around muttering, " 192 points on the word antiqued, can you believe it?" over and over. This is from my own personal experience. 192 pts. on that word and I did mutter that for six months. It is mentioned reverent and hushed terms in our house. I'm the reverent one. My wife tells me she doesn't want to hear any more about it. That is where the hushed part comes into play. I probably should not have taken a picture of it and framed it.

Colt is a fussy eater. No pepsi and milk like Laverne and Shirley. He wants his Beer shaken not stirred. He doesn't like the taste of Martinis. He will not eat olives. His pancakes have to be square. They must be trimmed while cooking.
Quirky? Yeeaaahh!
I think this is going well. I should have enough for the Nobel committee. I believe I have positioned myself to be a top candidate now. I think I have positioned myself better than Barack did for the Nobel peace prize. I could be wrong......Nah!!!

1 comment:

  1. Well, in fairness to Obama, he was just as surprised as everyone else, and admitted he he hadn't earned it. But then neither had Desmond TuTu, when given the award 10 years before apartheid. I guess sometimes it's just given for encouragement. In which case, your Cold Brandisher is a definite shoe-in.

    But about that "antiqued"...boy, if I'd come up with 192 points on a word, you can jolly well bet that not only would I have photographed it, but have devoted an entire blog entry to gloating about it!