Thursday, May 7, 2009

She says "Potato" and I say "could be...possibly..perhaps"

My wife says I have a disconcerting habit of not stating the obvious in resolute fashion. In other words she calls me "The Waffler".  It sounds like I am some kind of super hero. I could have been one.  I can picture it.  "Look..Up in the sky..It's a bird, It's a Plane,  It's "The Waffler"  perhaps...could be.  It is.
"Aren't you going to save the earth today? Mr. Waffler."
"Hmm! Possibly, Perhaps".
Is that an Asteroid hurdling towards earth, Waffleman?"
"It could be.  I might fly up the tonight and take a look, maybe."
"Just don't stand there playing ping pong with yourself. do something, you moron."
"You might possibly be on to something maybe.  Perhaps I should. I will sleep on it and probably have my decision sometime tomorrow."

This how my wife sees my decision making skills.
The problem is not really that bad.  She is the REAL problem.
Her world has two colors.  Black and white.  There is no gray.
She is one of those computer programmers. She lives in a binary universe.
It is either  yes or no, Positive or negative. In binary there is no maybe switch.  In binary flow charts there is no maybe, could be, perhaps, might possibly. It's yes or no. Black or white, positive or negative.
Any variation from positive or negative is considered a loose end and must be fixed to make the world rotate properly on its axis.

My verbal world is painted with a colorful pallet of pastels and neutral noncommittal and non-offensive colors.
If my decision making was a work of art it would look like a Kandinsky painting.(above)  
My wife is different.  She now has three paintings on the wall.
One is all White.  It is called "Blizzard at the North Pole".  
she has a black one. It is called "Blind man walking at midnight during a blackout".  The third one is brown.
It is called "Sandstorm in the Sahara at dawn".
Well,  I guess you get the idea.  More or less.  Possibly.

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