Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sex, lies, no videotape meme

Useless information about me meme!

At the least, people with no social skills.

  1. Do you have an innie or an outie?  It's an outie,  I'm a guy!!!…Oh…Belly buttons? innie.
  2. Have you ever been in opposite sex's bathroom? Yes, and I had a wonderful time there. Don't ask, please.
  3. Can you make change for a dollar right now? I don't have any cash in my pockets but I can get to money in about 30 seconds.
  4. Are you superstitious? No, knock on wood.
  5. Have you ever written a book?  I've written lot of stuff, but unpublished.  I have been really close though.  "To Kill a Hummingbird" comes to mind.  And what about "Gone with the Tornado", so close.  I am having size difficulties in my writing.
  6. What's the scariest book you have ever read?  "The Teen's guide to hitchhiking cross country."  My mother gave me this book….wrapped in a road map, when I was 14 years old.
  7. What is the strangest date you ever had?  Hmmmm!  Good question.  I have had a few.  Perhaps it was the 6 ft. tall girl who kept pushing my face into her ample bosom on a regular basis at the company xmas party.  Or maybe it was the stalker.  She followed me to the men's room and later I climbed a pole to get away from her. Bad plan. No exit strategy.  This is only a sampling.
  8. What kind of music do you like to dance to?  Funeral music usually….What???
  9. Bath or shower?  Do I have to?
  10. Favorite book of all time.  James Michener's"Centennial", 2nd choice "Hawaii".  Epoch historical fiction.  Great stories.
  11. Is the glass half empty or is the glass half full?   I have to agree with George Carlin.  The glass is twice the size it should be.  Now put that question to sleep…please.
  12. Where did you grow up?  Well,  It was a slow process.  So it happened in many places.  I don't think I have reached my full growth yet.
  13. Do you have a donor card?  Yes, but only for my testicles.  I jumped the line at Walmart and the woman behind me said I had a lot of balls.  I told her I will donate them in her memory.  I feel obligated.
  14. What are you reading now?  This question.
  15. What's under your bed?   There's is something under my bed? Or somebody? Oh, I won't sleep tonight.
  16. What kind of music do you like?  Oldies from the 50's and 60's, Blues, Reggae, Mozart, Plato, Old Country and Western.
  17. What kind of music do you hate? Rap really jumps out at me.  Everybody over 8 years old wants to be a rap singer.  Aside: Every time I see Justin Beiber I feel a compelling urge to vomit.
  18. Some memories about your father? Aqua Velva, Vitalis, always being well dressed, his love of the Yankees, and Giants, his quiet manner and calmness.
  19. Some memories of your mother?  Her cooking ability which she taught my sister, but not me, her indomitable spirit in the face of cancer, her sense of humor. her feisty spirit.
  20. Some memories of best friends: Wayne was a great athlete. In baseball he was the catcher. To this day he is the best I have ever seen.   He was great at everything he did, except driving while drinking.  He was in an car accident shortly after graduation.  One boy was killed, 3 were injured.  The car disintegrated on impact with a pole. The car was held together with tape and baling wire.  The accident changed him forever.   He became an alcoholic.  He died  at age 62.  Andy was an intelligent, creative and funny guy.  He received the news that he had juvenile diabetes when he was a juvenile (17 years old).   He lived his life thereafter like there was no tomorrow.  At the age of 20 he told me he would not live to be 40.   He died in 1982.  He was 39 years old.  These were two great guys and two great friends.  I still miss them and think about them.  Life is fragile.
  21. Dog person or a cat person?  Cat person.  I had a dog once.  High maintenance. Smelly when wet, noisy communication skills, needy, usually licked his crotch or eating his own vomit. You had to buy his food by the truckload.  Cats are different.  When we adopted Wilson and Madison, they just strutted into the house and said, "Where my food dish, water and litter?  Call me at dinnertime.  I  will be taking a nap in your chair."  Easy.
    Wilson 1996-2012
    Madison 201?-20??

  22. Plato? Question 16. I was checking to see if you were paying attention.  I really meant Picasso.
  23. The sex question.  Male or female? Yes.
  24. Answer the question, Bucko. Where did it happen?The deed! Ok, Ok! Car, Ok? No? Ok! Two inebriated juveniles in the back.....actually it was the front seat of  a Plymouth.  It was a disaster for everyone involved.  Even the Plymouth was embarrassed.  Happy now?
  25. Last Question. Picasso? No, I actually like Kandinsky better.
Now I have told you things you really didn't need to know and most likely don't even care.

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