Friday, January 24, 2014

Bullets in my head.








It was a dark and stormy night.  Yadda, yadda, yadda.  It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.


WHAT?????…..
Singers exercise their voice. They may yodel or do the scale.  Do re mi...whatever.  Runners will stretch the legs with various exercises.  I do my writing exercise by doing famous lines.  You wouldn’t want me to get writer’s cramp, would you??

My blog has not been very active last year.  My brain has been uploading new information in 2013.  At my age you lose a lot of brain cells every day and if you don’t keep your brain active, you forget things.

The little French ladies mosaic wall plaque.



I haven’t  written much this year.  The doctor told me if I don’t keep my brain active I will start forgetting things.   Hmmm…..That sounds familiar.  Anyway…Where was I?  The doctor told me…ummmm….What to hell did he tell me?

Seriously!!!!
Senior citizens: Exercise your mind and your body.  It helps.
What have we (Little French Lady and Hemlock) been doing?



  • I have taken a course in memoir writing. 
  • Mosaics class
  • Geocaching
  • walking on the beach
  • reading
  • being the servants, cooks, cleaner and play pal for our cat Madison.

RANTS, RAVES, OBSERVATIONS, OPINIONS, LINKS, LAUGHS

I just finished the book, "Unbroken" by Laura Hildenbrand.  It is about Louis Zamperini.
This a great story about an interesting guy.  The author has a fascinating story also.

I also read "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg.  Why we do what we do in Life and in Business. Another interesting book.


Some senior citizen observations.  Some are mine.  Many of these were found on the internet.


"Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it"

OOPPPSSSS!!!
Mark Twain

"Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy cutting hair or driving a cab."

George Burns

These things keep me awake at night..!!!
  • I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  • 99.7% of the lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • 41.8% of all statistic are made up on the spot.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  • If a man with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
  • An intellectual is someone who can listen to "The William Tell Overture"  without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

MORE SENIOR CITIZENS OBSERVATIONS:
  • Some senior citizens are in the initial segment of their life: AARP, SSI, MD, DOA, RIP.
  • Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
  • The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
  • You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.
  • Your little black book contains names only ending in M.D.
  • Your children begin to look middle age.
  • You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it's leaning against the wrong wall.
  • Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
  • A dripping faucet causes and uncontrollable bladder urge.
  • You look forward to a dull evening.
  • Your favorite part of the newspaper is "40 Years Ago Today."
  • You turn out the lights for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
  • You sit in the rocking chair and can't get it going.
  • You knees buckle and your belt won't.
  • You regret all those mistakes you made resisting tempation.
  • You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 96 around the golf course.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • Your pacemaker makes the garage door open when you see a pretty girl.
  • The little old grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
  • You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
  • You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
  • You know all the answers but nobody asks the questions.
Old pictures: In the early 1900's men always wore hats.  Theywore them properly;
apparently it became a lost art.  People now do not know how to wear hats. They have them on sideways , backwards, oversized, undersized, everything but right.


MEMORY LANE: YOU ARE OLD IF…
  •  You chewed Blackjack or Teaberry gum.
  •  You watched Howdy Doody.  (I wept shamelessly when it went off the air)
  • You watched Justine Corelli and Bob Clayton dance on American Bandstand. (I wept shamelessly when they never married.)
  • You snuck in to the movie theater. (I wept shamelessly when I was caught.)
  • You played tableside jukeboxes. (COOL)
  •  You played big Seeburg and Wurlitzer Jukeboxes.  3 songs for a quarter.
  • You know whT 45 and 78 RPM records WERE.  scratchy sound.
  • You remember staring at the test pattern on your TV.
  • You remember a flat Annette Funicello (RIP).
  • You can sing the Mickey Mouse Club Song.  
  • You heard "Rock around the clock" for the first time when you saw the movie "Blackboard Jungle" .
  • When you were growing up, swing club was a Friday night dance activity not a sexual event.
  • People actually talked to each other.  Face to face!!!!!!
  • You stopped weeping shamelessly.

A few interesting facts:
  • Willard Scott was the original Ronald McDonald.
  • Bob Keeshan, who was Captain Kangaroo, was also Clarabell the Clown on Howdy Doody.
  • Julia Childs, Chef, worked for the OSS, which was a forerunner of the CIA.
  • Martha Stewart, while in prison, would knit a key out of steel wool and leave the prison at night and steal things and give them to the prison staff for preferential treatment.  The warden now drives a Bentley and numerous guards have lovely centerpieces on their tables at home.
  • One of the above statements is a lie.


I have found a very interesting site called "The Moth".   True stories told live.  It has some awesome stories.  Here is a link to a narration called " A dish best served cold"
You will love this.  I hope you enjoy the stories.

As they say in Ecuador "Au revoir." 
I get confused.  I was supposed to go to Ecuador.  I ended up in Quebec.
I'm done. 
Out of mojo and juju and a few other mysterious words.
I am done. No more bullets.


EH/JHemlock







3 comments:

  1. Good to see you back John. I too have been busy this year but I'm itching to get back at it. Life has a way of creeping up on us. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am going to try to write more this year.
      Good to hear from you.

      Delete
  2. You really know how to hurt a girl. I remember that Memory Lane stuff as a teen or older. I know; I am so old that AARP is concentrating on people younger than I.

    ReplyDelete