Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I'm a Deather. I have found my calling.

Navy Seals(camoed) Great job, guys!!!!


I am feeling abject and despicable shame.  The local delegate from the Republican party has just left our house. He gave me the Republican IQ test.

I am considered an imbecile due to my chosen political affiliation. This is humiliating. I did not get one answer correct.  I even signed my named incorrectly on my test paper.  I signed it on the left side.  I should have signed it on the right, which indicated that I have leftist tendencies.

The local delegate harangued and browbeated me for about an hour. Before he left he gave me a copy of his book which he called "My Struggle".

So, I am studying "My Struggle" and taking copious notes.
My wife hollers, "Hey, They just killed Osama Bin Laden."
"Who killed him?"  I queried, "A bunch of Seals" the answer.
"Wow, did the seals slap him to death with their little flippers?  I would have thought he would be inland instead of on the ocean. I didn't know there was much coast line in  Afghanistan."
"It was Navy Seals and it was in Pakistan."
"Oh good! chock one up for our side. Where's the body? When are they going to show it? Are you going to the funeral or wake?"
"No funeral, no wake, no body." was the little French ladie's reply.
"WHAT?".....Here we go again. They buried him at sea.......Right!!!!
Not happening. I have to see a death certificate, a mangled corpse, a crying widow or widows in his case, DNA.
Rush Limbaugh will want to know.

Has the American public been punk'd by the government again???

Here's a few examples:

  • (The Moonwalk tapes) This is the original Apollo 11 hoax. The Moonwalk tapes were actually done at Universal studios' back lot.  In moonwalk, take 3, You can hear Neal Armstrong say, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for me. oops....I just stepped in dog poop. I told them not to use the Lassie sound stage." ....... "CUT!...CUT!!..Wrong again, Neal. It is for mankind, not you.  Are we going to have to call Tom Hanks for this scene...Take 4."
  • (The Agnew proposal)  The original Apollo 11 hoax worked so well that Vice President Spiro Agnew proposed at a cabinet meeting that the next astronauts land on the sun.  He was guffawed out of the meeting.  He was told that the astronauts would burn to a crisp on the sun.  It is too hot.  A couple minutes later he stuck his head back into the meeting and said, "We could do it at night." Nixon took this under consideration and appointed a task force to investigate this possibility.  Nixon resigned before it could happen. 
  • (FDR, the marathoner) You never saw FDR walking, and there was a good reason for this.  He couldn't walk.  The government did a wonderful job covering up this fact.  I did not realize that FDR could not walk until I was a teenager. Today they would photoshop him, they would have him running the Boston Marathon, playing tennis, playing touch football, and playing 18 holes of golf. You would never see him in a wheel chair.  This would be bad PR.  The president of the US in a wheelchair? This would be deemed as weakness.  So the American public was punk'd back in the 30's and 40's.

No more punking. I want to see Osama's death certificate and Obama's birth certificate.
Which one has the hair on his face?  I am confused.  Well...anyway...ummm, this helped me find my calling.  I am a deather.
A deather is the opposite of a birther.  Prove to me you are dead, show me your death certificate, DNA samples, your corpse,  in person, if possible.
This probably won't be enough but it's a start.
I mean, look how elaborate a scheme Obama had for the presidency.  
Somebody early on in his life said, "Hey, this kid could end up being president of the United States.  Yikes ... let's make him a citizen of some place in the US.  Maybe Hawaii. 
We will have to sneak him out of Kenya."
This was a well thought out plan.  He is actually a Kenyan Muslim who became president because of good, well thought out planning.

Do you think I am buying the "Osama is dead" story? H....E..L...L..O.....!!!!!
Walking on the moon, walking on the sun, FDR running a marathon, Osama dead, Obama an American Citizen, Paris Hilton a Virgin.  How much are we supposed to believe?
I believe what the Republican party tells me to believe. That's what.
Do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck?.... I do?...Oh...well....

"I AM A DEATHER!!!!"

3 comments:

  1. uh oh. I am too. I want to see a body or at least his head on a stick....

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  2. I wondered if Donald Trump would start barking for a death certificate?

    Sorry you got harangued by the Right. ;-)

    ::mingle::

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  3. Haha your blog is AWESOME. I think I too will now be a deather.

    I gave you a little award on my blog www.poorluckyme.com. You don't have to follow the rules, I just wanted to acknowledge your blog-talent!

    ReplyDelete