Chosen for greatness? I think not.

I am a man of mystery. This has been my persona for many years. The problem with this philosophy is that nobody knows anything about me. So when I die, my obituary will be contained in nine words. Look what happened to the writer Trevanian. Many people knew Trevanian died, but very few knew about Rodney Whitaker. Do I want that to be my legacy? I decided I didn't want to go like Rod.

Some of my favorite characters were created by Trevanian; two of my favorite books were, "Eiger Sanction" and "Shibumi"; the characters have great names such as Nickalai Hel.

So I will use the meme or final answer format. short question! short answer.

• Pepsi or Coke: can't have either (triglycerides)
• Potato Salad or Macaroni Salad: umm! neither (too much sodium)
• Baseball or Football: My shoulder is messed up for either one. (Rotator cuff!)
• Read book or wait for movie: once again neither. (glaucoma and cataracts)
• Coffee or Tea: They both make me hyper.
• Swim: lessons or self taught?: Self taught. once I got out of the bag it was easy.
• Beach or Pool: Neither, chlorine makes me itch. salt dries out my skin.
• Weights or cardio machine: neither, bad hips, bad shoulder, recovering from hernia's (plural).

Section 2 (free association) a word/first thought to your mind.

• Wife: keeps track of my medicine.
• husband: stud muffin.(me!) hmmm...that's Wife agreeing with Husband)
• Cat: allergies
• Dog: fleas itching.
• Vomit: frequently
• Driving: my road rage.
• Health: very healthy, a couple dings.
• Favorite drink: pepto bismal
• Favorite color: Pepto pink or Hershey squirt brown. (not at the same time)
• Hot dog or hamburger: What a choice, cholesterol or cholesterol.
• Favorite pastime: Reading Obituaries. check the age of people who died, add it up and take on average. If the average is lower than my current age I stay in bed the whole day.

Now you know a little bit about me. I am starting to establish a legacy. I would like to be remembered for something beside my phenomenal knowledge of turnips, and my earwax collection. Incidentally I have a life sculpture of Millard Fillmore's face made totally from earwax and toe cheese.

But that is another story.

Leave your legacy now! Not like these hippies below. These two probably ended up on skid row or incarcerated on a marijuana charge. Nothing good ever came of them, you can be sure.

Will you be remembered in 100 years? Not these hippies below.

A lot can happen in 100 years.

• The average life expectancy was 47 years old.
• The speed limit was 10 mph in most places.
• There was 144 miles of paved roads in 1907.
  
• Coffee was 15 cents per pound. No Starbuck's
• Leading cause of death were pneumonia and flu.
• Diarrhea was the third on the list.
• Our country had only 45 states.
• The population of Las Vegas was 30.
• More people lived in Iowa than in California.
• Only about 6% of American graduated from HS.
• Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were available over the counter in drug stores.
• There were 230 reported murders in the U.S. in the year 1907. Now it takes about 5 days to reach the same number.

Things change!!!!!!

Great photo's of the 20th Century or 19th.

I was cleaning the attic the other day when I came across a bunch of old photos, postcards and news clippings.

Some of them were photos from the 1950's and 60's. Some are very old. There were few that are metallic. I did a little research and this process was used between 1851 into the early 20th century. It was called

the wet plate collodian process.

sadly, all of the old photos I have are undated and have no captions. I have no idea who these people are. I know some are relatives. There are hundreds of interesting photos.

**So I will put the photos in this blog and make them more interesting than they really are. The photo below: That is my Uncle Harold walking towards the dirigible "Hindenburg". He is a psychic. He is on his way to tell them not to land in Lindenhurst NJ. He had a bad dream about it. How

ever the young ladies in front of him start flirting with him. Uncle Harold is also a ladies man. He never made it to the "Hindenburg". Well, I guess you know the rest of story. Sorry, Paul Harvey.

**Once again, my Uncle Harold is out and about. He can be seen in the back of the boat without his tie. Uncle Oscar, who is rowing and has fallen asleep. It doesn't really matter. As you can clearly see, they are in the middle of apple orchard. Uncle Oscar, who is 5' 1" tall and is a wiry 103 pounds, has found that rowing through an orchard can be very tiring.

"Hey guys, Where is your PFD's?" You don't want to break any laws.

**This next picture is my Great Uncle Mortimer and Great Aunt Jezebel

and Their two kids. We think there were mental problems in this branch of the family tree. Jezebel is holding "Little Blanche" and Mortimer is holding on to "Norman". Ironically, They all had red hair. Even Norman, who we believe was adopted. Norman disappeared one day while out walking in the back pasture. They asked their neighbors, The Lecters, if they had seen "Norm". They said, "We haven't but we will ask our son, Hannibal", who was attending a barbecue at that time. Norm was never seen again.

**The two distinguished looking gentlemen with the hats and overcoats are my uncle Milo on the left and Uncle Percy on the right. These guys could not agree on anything. This picture was taken at 3 am. These guys are on their way to the outhouse. It is a little known fact that they would get all dressed up just to walk to the outhouse. These guys would put on a necktie to fart. Milo thought they should go to town and get their hats blocked and shoes shined before going to the outhouse. Uncle Percy disagreed but deferred to the older Milo. While in

town they decided to have their picture taken. They disagreed whether it should be done indoors or out. As you can see from the photo it was a compromise. either it is really cloudy inside or they put down linoleum outside. I think Uncle Percy dropped a deuce before he made it to the outhouse. He had to many layers of clothes. Hence, the expression on his face. On the back of the picture it says picture taken July 16th, 1912.

**The next photo is a picture of the Barrows Gang when they visited my hometown.

I believe that is Clyde Barrows driving. Bonnie Parker is beside him. Blanche is in the backseat. (She's cute!!!!) Buck Barrows is standing beside the car.

They just robbed the local bank. My Uncle Luther asked if he could take a picture of them. They were more than happy to do so. Then they shot uncle Luther dead. The kids in the photo are little Johnny Dillinger and little Alphonse Capone. I am not sure what kind of car it is. Do you? I know it is not an Austin Healy Sprite.

I have more pictures like this and of course more lies.

Note: Top photo is wet plate collodian process.

The Mark Sanford "stimulate my package" trip to Argentina.

At one time I believed that my thought processes and problem solving skills were pretty good. Lately however I keep reading and seeing things that makes me question my thinking. Or perhaps it is just the spin doctors at work. I am starting to think public relations is one of the fields that there seems to be endless opportunities.

I would like to get one thing straight from the start.

I have been a registered Republican all my life. I voted in Republican primaries, not Democrats. I always thought the Democrats were too liberal. I was more conservative. I never liked the way the word "Democrat" sounded. I have been

a moderate middle of the road Republican. Since George Dubbaya was elected I have been nervous about the direction they are heading. In the last eight years things have deteriorated. Maybe the GOP needed a wake up call. Maybe they need a few years of Obama.

Perhaps they will have an "eppifory in their strawtiggery".

I think the Republican party, or at least their spokesbaffoon Rush Limbaugh, have lost touch with reality. Today he accuses Obama of being the reason that Gov. Duffus of South Carolina scurried off to Argentina for a while. He was so stressed out that his state would have to accept billions of dollars that he went to visit his girl friend in Argentina for stress release.

Rush, Old Buddy, I used to listen to you. I would still listen to William F. Buckley if he were alive. He was an articulate spokesman for conservative issues and values.

You are a babbler. Does your brain know what your mouth is saying?

You have had eight years of basking in the wake of Dubbaya's flotsam and jetsam.

Now that he is gone you suddenly know how to straighten out this country and what should be done to correct Obama's numerous mistakes.

Anyone that takes you seriously is obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer. You are the Nancy Grace of politics.

The spin doctors for our Governor: He went for a walk on the Appalachian Trail and he bumped his head. He woke up in Argentina in some girl's bed. yeah.....that's what happen. Argentina...yeah! We will send that up the flag pole and see who salute it. The "Mark Sanford stimulate my package trip" to Argentina.

Rush, that would have been more believable.

I can't stand Al Franken, but he was right.

And Mark Sanford is a skinny idiot. It's stimulus package, not stimulate my package.

Photo right: That is where I bumped my head. I remember that tree.

Signed:Mark Sanford (Extreme walker)

A Tribute to Bernard A. Fife: 138 Pounds of muscle and sinew.

I have watched "The Andy Griffith Show" many times. It is the one series I never really get sick of watching. The characters were outstanding. My personal favorite was Barney Fife. When the show started Barney was the glue that held it together. Don Knotts won 5 Emmys in 5 seasons for his performance as Barney Fife (best supporting actor).

Barney's Log Book: Barney lived at 411 Elm Street, Mayberry, NC. He joined the sheriff's office on May 16, 1959. He is 5'8" (when stretched) and weighs between 138 and 138.5 pounds. Languages he says he can speak are: Spanish, Pig Latin, some French, and Bird. Shoe size is 7.5 B.

A little known fact about theFife family: Everything they ate turned to muscle. Barney's mother was the same way. She could eat, eat, eat. It never went to fat, just muscle.

When he wore his salt and pepper suit he considered

himself "The Adolph Menjou of Mayberry. It was his only suit.

He was supposed to be in only a couple of episodes but the producer (Sheldon Leonard) realized he had something special and made Barney a regular. In the first show , "The New Housekeeper,"he played Andy's Cousin Barney. In that show he made his first arrest. He arrested Emma Brand for Jaywalking.

A few of the names Barney called himself: Reliable Barney Fife (1st episode), Barney the Bulkhead (explaining what he becomes when using his body as a weapon), Barney the Rabbit (because of how fast Barney was when he was a kid). Mad Dog, Fast Gun Fife and numerous others.

In Barney's yearbook his middle name is "Milton". In the book "Inside Mayberry" his middle initial is A. At other times it was "P".

One of the all time classic bits:" We the people". Barney recites "The Preamble of the Constitution."

Another funny bit: It is called Barney's Gun.

I have added a clip I found. I hope you enjoy it.

Great quotes from "The Andy Griffith Show."

Visit Mayberry, NC

Don Knotts Bio:

smoozing with Bernie and other Vermont weirdness

My wife and I had to leave Vermont. I trash talked the place on a regular basis. If we hadn't left we would probably be deported from there. The authorities would have escorted us to the border and said, "Don't come back!"

We would not have looked back.

But now I am. What went wrong?.....Nothing!!!!???

Things change. Vermont changed. I changed.

There are some nifty things in Vermont. Our real estate agent name was Von Trapp.

Is that cool or what? Yes, He is part of "The Von Trapps". Great guy. Good agent. Singing skills? I don't know.

Green Mountain coffee roasters? Great coffee. Cabot Cheese? The Best. Ben and Jerry's? Yum, Yum.

You don't need to be in Vermont to get all these good things. Let' move to warmth.

I used to enjoy snow. I am not 10 years old any more. I do not enjoy driving in it. I do not enjoy walking in it. I do not enjoy shoveling it. It gets heavy.

I never enjoyed cold. The only thing you could do was brag about who had the coldest temperature. " It was 137 below zero at my house last night." It was so cold last night penguins were trying to break into my house." My house the temperature was absolute zero. molecules stopped moving for 12 minutes."

Vermont was taking the fun out of our life. The people were the biggest problem.

The problem started in 1957. IBM decided to build a facility in Essex Junction which is a suburb of the small city of Burlington. They hired 400 people. They were mostly liberal democrat engineers. At the time Vermont was a very conservative state. A Democrat could not get elected dog catcher or anything else. This changed with IBM. In the next 50 years the work force climbed to 10,000 workers at IBM.

The northern half of Vermont became very liberal. The Southern half, not so much.

Before IBM showed up Vermont main industry was Agriculture.

The farmers did not trust the newcomers from the big cities. The newcomers thought the farmers were a bunch of old cow herders who didn't know diddly squat or squiddly doo about anything. They didn't trust each other and still don't. The closer you get to Burlington the more you can feel it. It is difficult to make real friends in this area.

The people seem to be very guarded. It is like: "what do you want? Why are you talking to me?" It is difficult to have more than a superficial friendship. It changed the culture and politics of Vermont.

The politicians of Vermont are a pretty cool group. You can smooze with these guys.

Sen. Patrick Leahy is one of the old war horses of Congress. He is a powerful senator.

He is into the National and International scene. Yet, He will be seen all over the place in Vermont. You go to a parade, he's there. You go to work, He's there. (He has been to my worksite at least a half dozen times in the eleven years I worked there.) I have seen him at numerous events. I asked him one time if he was looking for a job at my work place. He said," No, I am saving your job." He showed up at work to announce a multimillion dollar defense contract that we had won. I liked that.

Sen. Bernie Sanders (pic above) is the recipient of the IBM effect on the Vermont culture. He is the only Socialist in the US congress. He was the Socialist Mayor of Burlington before going national. This guy you can spot a mile away. You can also hear him a mile away.

He has a head of unruly white hair. Even when the wind is not blowing it is all over the place. He has a voice that booms. He does not really need a microphone.

Bernie is a grass roots type of guy. He is always fighting for the little guy. He is very unpretentious. He is very well informed. He is a conservative's nightmare. I have been a registered republican all my life, but if I had an issue with the government, he is the guy I would want working for me. He is a very interesting guy. If you are ever in the senate gallery and want to find Bernie look to the left. further...further....further. Look for the unruly white hair over against the left wall. Yes, He is a socialist. He is passionate about it. He is not a nut case. If you want nut case politics, move south.

BRING BACK THE 50'S (Another trip down Memory lane)

Was There a more peaceful time than the fifties? I mean really.

Forget about the fallout shelters. Remember the fire drills at school? Dive under your desk. That will save you long enough to have a slow lingering death from radiation poisoning. Maybe. Forget about Joe McCarthy accusing your Uncle Percy of being a Communist because he read Redbook Magazine. Forget that the word "gay" had a totally different meaning. forget that getting to first, second, or third base was totally baseball terminology. It had nothing to do with sex.

What was sex? In the fifties it was a distant rumor and a storage house of misinformation. I was only a kid. I was more interested in baseball and swimming after baseball during the summer. During the winter it was playing basketball in a driveway.

The basket was over the garage doors. Sometimes the driveway was paved, sometimes not. Since the driveways were usually for one car, the court was long and narrow. There was a premium on good passing. This is what we did for fun.

Television changed everything. The first people who had a television had to be wonderful people. We did not have a TV. So we went to the neighbors house, knocked on their door and ask if we could watch TV. Usually they would invite us in.

The only thing they knew about us was that we lived in the neighborhood. The only thing we knew about them is that they had a TV. We could tell. The house would be dark except for the silver glow of the TV.

Can You imagine doing something like that now? Your neighbor would probably gun you down has a home invader. Life was different back then.

The Television families were like us. They didn't have problems. They had minor misunderstandings.

There were four main TV families. There was Ozzie and Harriet Nelson, Jim and Margaret Anderson, Ward and June Cleaver, Alex and Donna Stone. They were your typical American family of the fifties.

They all had jobs. Well, Almost all. Ozzie Nelson didn't have a job. I don't think he ever did. He must have been on disability or something. Perhaps a mental problem. It was called "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet." Adventure??? Ozzie was no Mcgiver. He had to hire someone to sharpen his pencils. What adventure?

He just walked around in his sweater. He would walk into the closet and stay there for a while. He never said, "I'm going to the Office." He usually said something like, "I think I will take a nap." I believe he lived off his son, Ricky, after he became famous.

We have Jim Anderson of "Father Knows Best."

He had a job. He worked in the insurance field.

Jim gave all of his children nicknames. There was "Kitten, Princess, and Bud."

It appears to me that the Anderson had an easier life than the Nelsons. The Anderson show usually was about Bud forgot to buy a loaf of bread and Jim had to buy it or Kitten wore mismatched socks to school. The Nelsons had to find Ozzie a job or a Caregiver.

Ward and June Cleaver clearly had the biggest problem. In Leave It To Beaver, It is very obvious they are not talking about an Estate Bequeathment. Beaver is probably the most confused and incompetent kid to grow up in the 20th century. He often goes down to the firehouse to talk to his old friend "Gus" for advise. It is obvious that his firehouse buddy is in the final stages of dementia. Good advise indeed. Ward is always sputtering for the Beaver to do something properly. Obviously Ozzie and the Beaver could be roommates at the County Home. They are both totally lost. They would wander around with name tags on their wrist.

The Stones were boring but they were a handsome family. The father was competent. He was a doctor. The kids were semi-intelligent. The mother played by "Donna Reed" seemed fairly competent at keeping the house clean and the food was on the table at suppertime. Numerous discussions were held at the supper table. In my family it was "shut up and eat, Your mash potatoes just flew across the table."

I cringe at how these families would be portrayed in this day and age.

I suspect that Ozzie would still be wondering around like a lost soul. Rick would be a druggie musician. Harriet would have a boyfriend on the side. Ozzie still clueless.

It would be different.

The fifties were better.

Yahoo Answers! Really???

I enjoy answers.yahoo.com whenever I need a good laugh.  I am really not sure what I enjoy the most about it.  There are so many things to choose from. I usually go to the society and culture category.  This is where the arrogant self righteous religiously indoctrinated argue with the arrogant self righteous atheist. The bible person will quote some vague scripture with a lot of verily,  a few "thines or thou", mention some guy named Ezekial, Ezra, and Ebenezer and say, "That's my proof, Hah!" 

 The Atheist will salvo with some scientific mumbo-jumbo, toss in Darwin,  Newton, (not the cookie), a few other heavyweights in the science industry.  This interaction is continuous and fun to read.

If you really need a correct answer, this is not the place to find it.  The question is thrown out for a vote.  It is voted on by other people who know very little about anything.  They just like the way the answer sounded to them. After about a week or a year the voting is over.  Yahoo will send you an email stating, " Your answer has been voted the best answer".  The right answer? Not usually. 

If a person doesn't like your stupid answer to their stupid question they can complain to Yahoo.  Yahoo can give you a five yard penalty and remove your stupid answer to their stupid question.

A few sample questions for your viewing enjoyment.

• I can't fly properly in my dreams.(I knew how, so I answered. )
• Be hoenest, am I uegley? (flickr pix) (Yes, and you can't spell either.)
• Please help! How do I get rid of Trojans on my laptop? (tongs or rubber gloves?)
• If god doesn't exist who named the planets? (let me see. 2 were named after cars, one after a candy bar, One after a body part, One after a dog, One after a town in Florida,  One after  a statue. If God named them he has a nifty sense of humor.)
• How do you use the word "defer" in a sentence? (Defer on my dog has mange.) It just goes on and on.  so....feel free to have your question answered by the experts.